Thursday, June 28, 2007

My heart hurts

Just so everyone doesn't think that I've up and disappeared, I figured I'd better post SOMETHING. Well, I wish I had something happy or funny or warm and fuzzy...but I don't.
Tony and I have been having some issues that have actually been going on for a long time, but we are super good at ignoring them (kinda). So, the other night I suggested that we talk about some things because we weren't fighting about them and it just seemed like a good time.

I won't ramble on with the contents of the whole conversation, but I will summarize for you what we learned from our little chat...bullet style:

  • Neither one of us is really feelin' the love right now
  • We each go our own separate ways in our spare time
  • We are the best of friends...and want to keep it that way
  • I would like to get married and start a family...some time kind of soon
  • Tony doesn't know if he wants to get married and have kiddos...ever
  • Tony's priority in life at this moment is work (his job and his rental properties)
  • I tend to have an attitude quite a lot because I'm not happy and I take it out on Tony
  • Like, major 'tude
  • We aren't really sure where we see ourselves in five years
  • Lastly, we don't know if things are going to work out, but we don't want to end up hating each other and would rather just be friends if nothing else.
So, I guess you could say that (in a nutshell) Tony has quite a bit on his plate (that he didn't have before) and I have had to become second banana. This turn of events has caused me a great deal of hurt so I lash out.

The hardest part is that we really do love each other very much and don't want to turn our backs on each other. I think this might be a little harder on me because if we would decide to end our relationship I would have to move...and I don't deal well with big changes. Also, try finding somewhere to rent with a big dog like Buddy. I would be absolutely crushed to have to make that kind of transition without my dog at least.

As of right now everything is up in the air. We've talked (a really good talk) and we are just trying to figure things out. So, I my posting is more sporadic than usual this is why.

8 comments:

Angela said...

Sorry to hear this! I was hoping maybe the reason that you haven't posted lately is because you went on some awesome suprise exotic vacation and were too busy sipping margaritas and sunbathing to write blog posts.

Anyway, we'll still be here whenever you are ready, so take your time.

MrRyanO said...

Hey Missy...so sorry to hear this. I hope things work out for the best, whatever direction that might be. :)

Have a good weekend and we'll all be thinking about you. :)

Melissa said...

Sorry to hear you guys have been having some trouble lately. The ups and downs in a relationship can be valuable, and I'm wishing you the best.

littlemissy555 said...

You guys are really awesome. Thank you very much! I will do my best to keep chugging along...so to speak.

Nanette said...

Oh dear! I just assumed you already were married.

Uh, that is a lot to deal with sweetie. I hope it all works out for you. *hugs*

Adamity73 said...

Things will turn out the way that they are intended to turn out, Missy Little.

Melly` said...

Gee.

So cliche but stuff ends up ok in the end. Everything will be just perfect for you and Buddy eventually. Or as close to perfect as life gets.

Skipping rocks, feeding the ducks and watching Buddy play would be the ... way to start?

Anonymous said...

Aww, man, I'm sorry. I absolutely hate relationship problems and I hope everything finds a good balance for you really, really soon.